Merciful God. I saw her again this morning. She was right there when I walked out my front door. Right there. I could have touched her.
She always looks the same. College hoodie. Sweats. Big sunglasses that conceal half her face, revealing only her slightly upturned nose and her thin, careful lips.
She vanishes for months at a time, and now I’ve seen her two days in a row. And yesterday was one of the worst days I’ve had in a long time.
I believe that if I pulled those sunglasses from her face, her eyes wouldn’t be there. Just two gaping holes in her skull, with flames licking out.
Why do I keep seeing her? Why won’t she leave me alone? Haven’t I done enough penance? Haven’t I carried this pain long enough? What do I have to do to get rid of it? What will it take to exorcise myself of this smothering remorse?
What act of contrition will be enough?
Or will I carry it with me until I die?
I want to set it down. I want to set it down.
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I just noticed today that I am now able to highlight text on your blog. I wasn’t able to do it before. What’s different?
Ozzy
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006, 11:36 am
Maybe she’s stalking you. You haven’t noticed any of your under-roos missing as of late have you?
I’d suggest an opening line of: Hi, my name is Jeffery, may I please have my Spiderman under-roos back?
If she laughs, quickly ask for her phone number. If she denies having them she’s obviously an agent for the underwear gnomes and must be held accountable.
phin
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006, 12:36 pm
I’m lost. What remorse? Why pain?
Tina
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006, 12:51 pm
Phin, you don’t know it yet, but your advice is terrible. That’s exactly what I did last time, and look at the mess it got me into.
Tina, it’s a long, humiliating story. I don’t want to bore the world with it.
Jeff Harrell
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006, 4:36 pm
“I don’t want to bore the world with it.”
Jeff — isn’t that the whole point of having a blog?
Seriously though, is she real or not? If not… If not, you are seriously creeping me out. Imagine going through death still walking the dog and picking up ecto-poo becuase you thought you were still alive… Talk about not being able to move on.
Bret
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006, 8:11 pm
I think she’s real. I’m fairly sure. I’ve seen her interact with other people, people I have no particular reason to believe to be less than genuine.
For a while I had serious doubts, though. Her resemblance to somebody I’d rather not be reminded of is striking, and the timing of her appearance yesterday was shocking. If she’s real, then she’s still one hell of an ill omen, even if her status as such is merely coincidental.
She scares the hell out of me.
Jeff Harrell
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006, 8:14 pm