In Europe, particularly in the UK, mobile phone ring tones are huge business.
This fact, of course, is an atrocity on par with the greatest acts of genocide of the 20th century.
But moral panic aside, musical ringtones are real. They exist. The genie can’t be put back in the bottle.
When Apple released the iPhone, lots and lots of people — every single one of them between the ages of twelve and twenty-four — complained to high heaven that the device the company touted as the most amazing advance in telecommunications technology since the bullhorn didn’t support musical ringtones.
Of course, many saw this decision for what it was. Apple is, far beyond anything else, a brand. It’s not a computer company; it’s not a consumer electronics company. It’s a brand. And everything Apple does serves that brand, which is by far the company’s most valuable asset.
Apple, therefore, has a strong vested interest in making sure that people who see other people using iPhones aren’t immediately annoyed by them. So there would be no ringtones that are creepy-as-hell covers of bad 80s synth-pop jingles as interpreted by computer-simulated frog sounds.
But still, the kids want their musical ringtones. They want them bad. And they’re bitching that they can’t have them.
So what does Apple do? It lets iPhone owners purchase ringtones for ninety-nine cents.
The cry goes up, of course, mostly from Cory Doctorow who lives in a dimly lit cave surrounded by faintly beeping instruments that are delicately tuned to detect any economic transaction involving intangible property. “I already paid for these songs once!” the refrain goes. “I should be able to print them out as a musical score, run the score through a shredder, compost the scraps for six months and then smear the rich, fertile loam over my naked and highly aroused body at no extra cost!”
This, naturally, misses the point.
Remember what I said before about brands and incentives? Apple has a powerful incentive to keep the image of the iPhone as classy and sexy as possible. Having it announce its presence with the chorus of “My Humps” is not a good thing. Not for Apple, and certainly not for humanity.
Thus the Great Compromise: Apple will let you use musical ringtones on your iPhone. But it will charge you through the damn nose for them. At a buck a pop above and beyond the cost of the song itself, the allowance-spenders of the world will at least pause for a moment of reflection before throwing the latest number-one song from TRL onto their iPhones.
Yes, you can use musical ringtones on your phones. But you shouldn’t. Apple gets this. So the company has made it possible, but less than entirely easy or convenient.
For this reason, and this reason only, I believe that Apple should be a nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Comments
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I love the Cory Doctorow digs you throw in your posts from time to time.
Music ringtones are evil. All cell phones should only be capable of basic beeps and bloops. If you’re going to make a song, it’s at least going to sound 8-bit, damn it.
cbowns
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 2:22 pm
For my part, when my iPhone rings it sounds like a telephone ringing. It’s a daring choice, I know, but there it is.
Jeff Harrell
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 2:25 pm
That conclusion is hilarious.
Maybe home phones should have ringtones and cellphones just rings. I enjoy my Six Feet Under theme when a call comes in, damn it! (laugh) But I could just as easily enjoy that at home without bothering anyone else, if given the option.
Karen Demerly
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 2:59 pm
You know, that raises a good point. On the subway, it’s against the law to play music without using headphones. But as far as I know, nobody has ever been arrested, prosecuted, imprisoned or executed for polluting the air with that accursed University of Georgia fight song.
That’s a legal battle that needs to be fought. Soon. Justice demands it.
Jeff Harrell
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 3:02 pm
Am I the only one that leaves the damned thing on vibrate? If I don’t hear it leave a message. That said… I’ll buy one if they support Adrian Legg. (Or Bela Fleck, or Phillip Glass) Some artist with some style that I want to throw some love at. Won’t keep me from leaving it on vibrate most of the time though.
Gary
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 3:28 pm
I would like to reissue Dante’s Inferno with a special Bolge reserved for people who cycle through their ringtones in public.
Derek G.
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 3:45 pm
You think ringtones are bad? Just wait until the advent of ringtones for moped horns in India or some other place that comes from the “I’m here!” school of horn usage.
If by putting that idea in words I’ve doomed us all, I apologize in advance.
Benjy
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 3:54 pm
[…] scourge of that damn frog song Published by Benjy September 5th, 2007 The scourge of that damn frog song - While it’s an interesting idea, I’m not convinced. My comment on ringtones? “You think ringtones […]
The scourge of that damn frog song at Linkstew
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 3:58 pm
My ringtone? John Cage’s 4’33”. Classy.
Jon
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:15 pm
[…] Link. […]
Fork Bombr :: iPhone Humps
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:23 pm
you’re ignoring the fact that millions of ringtones are sold every month in the US for 2.50 - 2.99, which is more than an iTune + 99c ringtone fee
tap
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:23 pm
The problem with your theory is that Apple already has several unacceptable ringtone choices built into the iPhone.
If they were seriously concerned about the image of the brand and how an aurally offensive ring could damage that, they would not have included the following:
Some of these are arguable I’m sure. But my point is that MOST of the sounds listed as “ringtones” in the iPhone and it’s hard to argue that a song clip is that much more annoying than any of the above options.
What interests me far more than the ability to create a ringtone from an iTunes purchase is the ability to add any mp3 and use it as a ringtone. There are scores of fantastic, unobtrusive, “rings” available for free that are far more subdued and socially polite than anything the iPhone ships with.
As for me, I’ll stick with Marimba. I can see why they put it at the top of the list, out of alphabetical order.
Will
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:26 pm
Whoops, looks like my brain kept going while my fingers took a nap…
Meant to say:
“But my point is that MOST of the sounds listed as ‘ringtones’ in the iPhone are obnoxious and…”
Will
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:27 pm
I think the $0.99 is reasonable. I am with Verizon and the ring tones are $1.99 each; and that is not the full length song, just the ring tone
Jeff
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:28 pm
Of course, those of us bent on causing international poverty and leprosy had already either figured out how to put ringtones on our iPhones. :)
Mind you, my main reason was so that I could use the opening Pink Floyds’ “Time” for an alarm (not ringtone). It’s flat outthe best alarm song out there. :)
Apple wants to charge for it? Dandy, I’ll just keep doing it the way I have, which means that I can make ANY audio into a “ringtone”.
Muahahahahah-hahahahaha!!
W. Ian Blanton
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:37 pm
I would love to know how you came to that conclusion. When I finally got the official word (we’ve known something about the phone and the ringtones for ages), it felt like yet another kick in the pantsular region. How is paying 99¢ twice good for anybody?
And if you couldn’t figure it out by now, I’ve come off the idea that Apple’s out to help the common man. I’m getting a little tired of being told about all the new and different ways I can buy Apple-approved goodies. If Steve Jobs wanted to make Apple another Sony, I think he’d doing a great job of it — I don’t care about Sony at all.
John Stansbury
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:42 pm
Interesting theory, but it’s illogical.
Other cell phone carriers (like Verizon) already force you to buy ringtones through them. They typically charge $3 each, and you must pick from what they make available.
Apple’s system - $1, chosen from any song you have in iTunes, is still a rip-off, but it’s a better deal than what you get from other major carriers, so it’s not going to be a very good disincentive to those who use custom ringtones.
David C.
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:47 pm
I think Apple should let you put these on your iPhone
http://ifc.com/series?aId=18036
Brian
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 4:51 pm
If you think a measly 99 friggin’ cents is all it will take to rid the world of the scourge of musical ringtones, then you’re a hopeless optimist.
Jeff Atwood
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 5:02 pm
This is even better than I had hoped when we were discussing this today, Jeff.
Tiff
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 5:11 pm
Amen for your take on the arrogant Doctrow, the only thing that makes him look remotely in touch with reality is the nut Richard Stallman
Krizoitz
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 5:48 pm
[…] Harrell schreibt dazu in seinem Blog… Apple has a powerful incentive to keep the image of the iPhone as classy and sexy as […]
/bin/basti » iPhone Klingeltöne: zurecht überteuert.
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 6:05 pm
As others have pointed out, many people buy ringtones from the mobile phone carriers for more than 99¢. That’s pretty strong evidence that Apple isn’t doing this to dissuade people from choosing obnoxious ringtones.
I suspect that Apple has to charge for ringtones as part of its contract with AT&T. Free ringtones on the iPhone would devalue the ringtones AT&T sells to its other customers.
That said, charging 99¢ has the potential to do just that, so maybe I’m completely off here.
Daniel Parks
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 6:08 pm
How is paying 99¢ twice good for anybody?
Cheaper than any other commercial ringtone service and much more flexible. BTW you can make ringtones using any other audio source that you use for free.
der Passante
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 6:51 pm
Seriously?
Bit of a stretch, but interesting.
clvrmnky
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 7:36 pm
[…] Fast. […]
Apple für den Friedensnobelpreis nominiert at jmi.cc/
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 8:26 pm
99c is cheap. Ringtones in Australia commonly sell for AU$4.95 (US$4), and the allowance-spenders already snap them up, despite the fact that most phones these days can just do MP3 ringtones.
Apple could make a killing if the iPhone was targeting the allowance-spenders; however, remember that it’s market is far more upmarket and technically capable than that.
karan
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 8:30 pm
[Being a dickhead isn’t a good way to make friends. —Jeff]
frogoid
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 9:36 pm
Don’t you guys get it? Apple doesn’t want to charge an additional 99cents….the record execs are MAKING them - GEEZUS! Apple makes next to nothing on this extra ringtone fee.
Dink
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 10:04 pm
And after complaining about Apple, Doctorow will have an orgasm over some worthless Disney fanboy tchotchke or other ephemera.
Or, like the other day, he might say someone should mass-produce hideous, unergonomic Russian computer mice. Because what the world needs now is to have oil turned into plastic so that hideous unusable mice can sit unsold on shelves, be auctioned off in million-item lots for pennies on the dollar, and eventually bulldozed into a landfill.
Oh! Look! Haunted Mansion control-top pantyhose!
Jon H
Wednesday, September 5th, 2007, 11:56 pm
I cannot believe you folks are crying about a 99 cent ringtone. Would one of you please give us the link to the website where you can choose from over half a million ringtones for LESS than 99 cents each, with the option of choosing ANY portion of the song you like. Oh, and for an additional 99 cents, you can have the entire song if you like. Well? Yup, that’s what I thought.
Steven
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 12:18 am
Apple is not protecting its brand with 99¢ ringtones. They are protecting their brand by choosing which songs you may make into a ringtone.
docflo
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 5:21 am
I’m Cory Doctorow, so I’m really getting a kick out of the replies.
Cory Doctorow
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 8:38 am
Maybe Cory could get a free ringtone for “Whistle While You Work” from Snow White, which is now public domai… oh, wait, Disney changed all that.
Charley Parker
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 11:34 am
OMG Apple wants to make money for ringtones? How dare they try to be a profitale business! Their shareholders must be pissed!
Mike Doab
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 1:45 pm
Ringtones in and of themselves aren’t all THAT annoying…
…except when they are turned up to “Nightmare” volume level so that they can be heard 30 feet away, while, of course, they are in your purse/briefcase/messenger bag about 18 inches away.
I’ve never understood why the freakin’ things have to be so loud. I’m tempted to yell, “HEY! YOU HEAR THAT OKAY?! CUZ I SURE AS HELL CAN!”
[grumble, grumble]
Steve B
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 7:30 pm
My ringtone is a sample of Al Gore giving a lecture. That even bypasses the “playing music on the subway” restriction.
Bloop
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 8:19 pm
DINK is right. I bet 90 cents out of the 99 cent ringtone price goes to the labels. When iPhone was released, the updated version of the iTunes purchase agreement included the statement that purchaser agrees not to use songs as ringtones.
With the cell carriers, they tack on another 2 to 3 dollars, but Apple is asking for way less.
mark
Thursday, September 6th, 2007, 11:00 pm
a multimedia phone that has no converting utility built in as feature but charges for that conversion via their online music sales platform AND ALL THAT TO KEEP THE IPHONE SOUND CLASSY UNLESS THEY FORK OUT THE UNBEARABLE AMOUNT OF 0.99$?
How much more classy will it be now that the 4GB is sold at half price of the 8GB some months ago? When the ipod touch looks the same as iphone without the GSM function? Are these moves working towards keeping an exclusive image by filling all the pockets with iphones or itouches (looks the same)?
Apple is simply making extra cash via their ringtone service and at the same time attracting more people to their online digital store. If they wanted it to be classy and exclusive they would simply cover it with precious alloys and jewels and price it at some thousand $$$. And we wouldn’t see them anywhere.
Jack
Friday, September 7th, 2007, 4:30 am
Jeff - when your phone rings, is it that old-fashioned, analog, metal-striker-on-metal, rattle the Bakelite phone body sound? Cuz that’s what I want.
I had a longer post about how kids don’t need phones and ringtones to spend their money on and how all folks really need is a simple notification of a call, but I realized how crazy I am when it comes to technology.
Ever seen “12 Monkeys?” I am Brad Pitt’s character whenever I take part in any technology discussion.
“Plague of madness!”
bev
Friday, September 7th, 2007, 8:53 am
Excellent, we have a vendor providing disincentives to perfectly reasonable consumer desires. I suggest that cell phones only connect for, say, 2 minutes and then hang up, that way you won’t have to suffer through listening to that guy yakking about that thing while riding the subway. Don’t blame the medium, blame the idiot who’s ringtone bugs you. Some of us are polite enough to have subtle custom ringtones…certainly more subtle than old skool telephones fer chrissakes!
alberto
Friday, September 7th, 2007, 11:16 am
Yup. That’s exactly what my phone sounds like.
Jeff Harrell
Friday, September 7th, 2007, 11:23 am
[We don’t talk about stealing here. —J.]
Trespass
Friday, September 7th, 2007, 9:40 pm
I want the same ringtone for my phone as for my car horn: the sound of screeching tires. NO ONE can ignore that…
Doug Jones
Sunday, September 9th, 2007, 12:49 pm
’ I’m an unsuccessful writer…’
To be sure but you won’t be wasting my time anymore. Good luck to you other suckers - good luck in getting a life.
Carmine
Sunday, September 16th, 2007, 12:22 pm
[…] couldn’t agree more with the self-titled “unsuccessful writer” Jeff Harrell, when he rambles on the true reason behind Apple’s decision of not allowing custom ringtones […]
LeviFig.net » The Truth about Apple’s Ringtone Case
Monday, September 24th, 2007, 6:20 pm
[…] The Scourge of That Damn Frog Song […]
All Night Coder - Today’s Top Blog Posts on Programming - Powered by SocialRank
Monday, October 1st, 2007, 5:05 am