Friday, May 9, 2008, 6:39 pm
It’s a joke, right? Some kind of deeply obscene, sex-related joke?
Have you seen those pictures of the Playboy playmate of the year who’s got the word “respect” tattooed right above her bare-waxed petunia?
Yeah. The irony is not lost on any of us.
In fact, I’m pretty astonished that the tattoo artist was able to finish the job without falling off his little rolly stool and dropping into a catatonic fetal curl at the sheer absurdity of it all.
This one officially takes the lead in the race for the most ridiculous tattoo in the world. The previous front-runner, now relegated to a distant second place, is the girl I saw on the train not long ago who had her own name tramp-stamped right above her ass-crack. The only thing I could figure is that she put it there as a sort of ejaculatory cue card for the endless army of Adderall-tripping frat boys who take turns gaping her pucker. Sort of an orgasmic teleprompter, if you will.
I fucking hate everyone on this worthless, dried-up fewmet we call the Earth.
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That… that is pure, unadulterated special.
And she had her OWN NAME? I mean… wow. Maybe… maybe she didn’t want to forget it?
“Hey, you there. Can you check this tramp-stamp?”
“Oh, sure ma’am, why?”
“Well, see… I’ve forgotten my name.”
Sammi
Friday, May 9th, 2008, 7:06 pm
or perhaps she got tired of guys forgetting her name
Doug
Friday, May 9th, 2008, 7:55 pm
At least she won’t ever have to worry about having the tattoo removed due to a break-up.
Karen
Friday, May 9th, 2008, 9:03 pm
This just might be the best written “fuck the world” post ever. ::applause::
alli
Saturday, May 10th, 2008, 2:23 am
I’ve had the [mis?] fortune to see lots of weird tatoos of suspects in police reports. Like gangbangers who have their shaved heads tatooed with such things as “fuck the police” “it’s not my child, bitch” “666” and gang monikers. But they don’t stop there. There was the one heavily tatted NLR member (on trial for a violent gas station stickup) who had his penis tatooed with “your name here”.
I want to know how the heck that was done.
Darleen
Saturday, May 10th, 2008, 11:14 am
OT Jeff
Have you been following BSG?
Darleen
Saturday, May 10th, 2008, 11:14 am
Great.
colin
Sunday, May 11th, 2008, 12:12 am
The one and only acceptable “license plate” tattoo is the word “POOP” atop an arrow pointing down.
Derek Giromini
Sunday, May 11th, 2008, 9:03 pm
I swear to you that there’s some sort of kickback scheme going on between the tattoo artists and the folks doing the laser removal. It would seem that the laser removal folks are paying tattoo artists by the stupid.
“Of course you want your own name over your backdoor, hon. It’s all the rage amongst the emotionally stable male population. Pay no attention to the cackling cosmetic surgeon behind the curtain.”
bev
Monday, May 12th, 2008, 10:51 am
Bev—
No, see what you need to do if you wanna make money is to get certified to do BOTH. That way, you could get ‘em coming and going. Like the guy in the Dr. Seuss book.
…the Sneetches?
Anyone?
Also Derek—
I agree. Although I saw a chick once who had “Exit Only” and an arrow pointed down.
Which is just as good, I think. =P
Sammi
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008, 10:37 am
I think it’s Ron White who’s coined the phrase, “You can’t fix stupid.”
Timmer
Tuesday, May 13th, 2008, 12:48 pm
No you can’t.
You can, however, push it out a window and laugh at the “splat” sound it makes when it hits the pavement. =3
Sammi
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008, 3:24 pm
The earth is not dried up.
I think wet fewmet is worse than dry. You might actually get some benefit from burning dry fewmet. Maybe it would keep bugs away.
Unless of course, you mean metaphorically, spritually whithered.
steve
Thursday, May 22nd, 2008, 2:03 pm
I’m afraid I have to demand that you write something new just to get the phrase “bare-waxed petunia” off the top of the page.
Tiff
Thursday, May 29th, 2008, 12:09 pm
Wow man, stumbled onto your site from an article about CSS shadows on Smashing magazine, and got caught up reading for about an hour or so. Really great stuff man. I love how over the top and coherent your rants are. I think there are a lot of really intelligent people that could start a site like this if they would only remember the things that race through their minds whilst they are holding their tongues and listening to some inferior being babble on and on, ignorantly. I bookmarked ya, keep up the great work eh? Please?
By the way are you a designer or is that a hobby?
Jordan Blakey
Saturday, June 14th, 2008, 3:14 am
Oh, Gooood, Internet. I think we broke Jeffery.
You there man? Still breathing? It’s okay, there’s a new Playmate now. That old one is gone. (And I do mean “old” — she must be, what, 23?)
We Miss You Jeff.
<img src=”sad_puppy_dog_eyes.jpg” />
Stephen R
Thursday, June 19th, 2008, 3:34 pm
Tap tap tap…. Is this thing on??
Hoping all is well.
Magy
Magycian
Friday, June 27th, 2008, 12:36 pm
Aw come on Jeff… That can’t be your final blog entry. It’s so bitter and so unlike… scratch that. Nevermind.
Here’s hoping you’re just busy with work.
matt
Monday, July 7th, 2008, 8:21 pm
Maybe he finally got a girlfriend, so he isn’t as bitter any more.
Bruce
Monday, July 7th, 2008, 10:15 pm
We all wish you the best, Jeffery.
The 5th of 4
Wednesday, July 9th, 2008, 9:07 pm
Wow, you do realize, you are criticizing a playboy tattoo right? I mean, you are the one looking at the photography, and somehow you have the right to criticize her? The irony isn’t obvious to you? I had a lot more to say, but I think your error is lost on you.
Another Jeff
Monday, July 14th, 2008, 8:52 pm
Jeff,
i keep hoping to find a new entry, a sign of life.
For some of us hope is all we’ve got.
Miss you……..
EelEel
Sunday, July 20th, 2008, 3:54 pm
Jeff,
hope the blog comes outta’ the fog….would mean alot to many of us………..
EelEel
Sunday, July 20th, 2008, 3:56 pm
Just follow Jeff on Twitter. That’s what I do.
http://twitter.com/jefferyharrell
Derek Giromini
Monday, July 21st, 2008, 10:04 am